A Heavy Heart
by tiggeranddash
Summary: A songfic oneshot from my Oc Amy's point of view. Amy is troubled by all the worries and burdens she must carry. This fic is to express her feelings and to show how a person would really feel if they were trapped in another world.


Tigger: Okay this is my first songfic oneshot. I wanted to really show people how Amy would feel sometimes. It's not all butterflies and rainbows when stuck in another world. I really felt like we get to see a part of her that most humans keep locked up tight. I wan Amy to feel as real as possible to the review, not just another character from an obsessed fan's mind. I want her to be so real you won't be surprised if she suddenly appears in front of you one day (okay you can be a little shocked). This oneshot comes from my heart because I had a very very very very stressful week and it's only Wednesday. I should be working on the main story but I kind of write this thing randomly. I'm not sure what part of the story this takes place in, but definitely in a later chapter. So I hope this makes you think and makes Amy feel a little more human. Please remember to review.

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters. AMY IS MY CHARACTER THOUGH DAMN IT! I don't own this song either which is **Somebody by Prezioso Feat Marvin**. (I suggest listening in to it while reading.)

* * *

da  
da da da da da  
da da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da  
da  
da da da da da  
da da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da

Amy felt the words echo in her head as she sat there. She didn't try to recollect the words or song along. She knew that if she did the words would escape her faster then she could say the first 'da.' Her chest felt heavy and the part where one's heart would be felt sore like some overused muscle. Of course her heart was not sore nor was it overused, at least in the practical way. If a doctor were to look at her now they would tell her heart was "as fit as a fiddle." It was a mental pain that caused her agony now.

Hey, what about today?  
Is everything ok?  
The world is in my hands  
I don't care  
Something in my mind  
If I could realize  
The colours in my eyes are black and white

It was a burden. The heavy thing in her chest was a burden. There had been so much pressure lately. So many sad things had happened. Her burden seemed to increase with each passing day. Sometimes things such as Ed making a rude comment would make her want to burst into tears. Although she suppressed this feeling and quickly covered it up if her eyes got teary. Once she started crying she knew it would be hard to stop.

Don't believe it's true  
If I blame it on you  
I'm only trying to hide  
I'm not right  
Forgive me if you can  
Sometimes I'm not a man  
My body's here but it's without me

One moment she would be laughing and the next she wanted to cry a river. Amy was able to forget about her troubles at times. When Ed was called short, when Al started playing with cats, or when Winry caused physical injuries to Ed, Amy couldn't help but smile. These people made her laugh, feel welcome, and it was as if her sadness flew away. But then it would all come back the instant she was alone.

Lonely among a thousand people  
This is how I feel

Somebody please help me where is my soul  
Somebody please help me where is my soul  
Somebody please help me where is my soul  
Somebody please help me where is my soul

Today had been the final straw. She realized how badly she needed a good cry, not one of those cries that were injury induced or because she was strung up on hospital meds. No she had needed to cry, to worry, to mourn for everything that made her depressed. One man had set it off. Amy had tripped over this man's shoe on her way back to the hotel. She had been following Ed and Al, eager not to be left alone, and her foot had caught on his shoe. Even though Amy was the injured one, the man had yelled at her. He called her worthless. That was when it all came out.

da  
da da da da da  
(da) da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da  
da  
da da da da da  
(da) da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da

Her throat had tightened, her eyes had burned, and Amy's lungs stopped working properly. Her breathing was short and shallow as she tried her best to hold it back. She couldn't cry, not in public. Quickly she had turned to look for the brothers but they had disappeared into the crowd. Amy knew her way back to the hotel but she didn't want to go. Not only would she start bawling long before them but she knew people would hear her sobs through the walls. Instead she dashed towards the side of the road and began to search for a place.

Hey, what about today?  
Is everything ok?  
The world is in my hands  
I don't care  
Something in my mind  
If I could realize  
The colours in my eyes are black and white

The park was no good. It was still daytime and it was too public. Restaurants, cafes, and libraries were also bad. Amy's nervousness of going into new places alone trickled into the back of her mind, but the tears were more pressing. Finally, she did a cliché, and dashed into an alley way. The allay ways in FMA seemed to be linked and Amy followed them until she was far away from any road or person. Then the tears let loose and she sobbed on the ground.

Don't believe it's true  
If I blame it on you  
I'm only trying to hide  
I'm not right  
Forgive me if you can  
Sometimes I'm not a man  
My body's here but it's without me

She had cried about her family. How she missed them. They were with her every day and were constantly in the back of her mind. Amy cried about her friends, she needed their support more then over. She beat herself up over her weaknesses and what a pain she must have been. Now she was sobbing hysterically, hiccupping between sobs, and a trail of snot was coming out of her nose. Her throat was painfully tight and she shuddered with each breath. She cried about her loneliness, about her frights, her fears, and about each argument she had gotten into.

Lonely among a thousand people  
This is how I feel  
Somebody please help me where is my soul  
Somebody please help me where is my soul  
Somebody please help me where is my soul  
Somebody please help me where is my soul

Amy had cried for so long that the sun was beginning to set. She was leaning back against the wall with her knees hugged to her chest. There were tear stains on her clothing and she could feel the redness in her eyes. Now her heart no longer felt sore but tender. She felt as if someone could poke it and she would relapse into a fit of tears. Her breathing was still shaky and her throat was still a bit painful. At any moment she could go back to the bawling and the sobbing but she sat there instead trying not to think of anything.

She knew beyond a doubt she was lost. She also knew that it would be dark soon and it was dangerous to be out. This is the time when all the perverts attacked in animes, but she couldn't face the world. Amy would have rather stayed in the alley way then have to face her problems again. While she was here she could at least escape everything.

da  
da da da da da  
da da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da  
da

Reason came back too her. She needed to get up and go out. Maybe she could pity herself later with a bowl of ice-cream but she couldn't stay here forever. At home she would have read a book and called a friend when she felt like this. Maybe she could talk to Ed and Al or let them talk to her. If she felt like this then Ed and Al must have felt ten times worse. But they had each other to talk to. Perhaps she could call Winry, but Amy hated to push her troubles onto her overworked friends. What about her jail friends? They liked her. She would hate to trouble them though.

da da da da da  
da da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da  
da

Finally her common sense won her inner battle. She had to go back to the hotel at least. She could face her problems tomorrow when she felt better. Amy stood up and walked through the maze of alleys. Eventually she popped out in an empty street. It was fairly late now and most people had gone home. Amy didn't recognize the street but she continued walking along figuring she would find a street sign at some point. Her depressed and sad emotions kept back her usual feelings of being nervous or scared. A couple of minutes later she spotted a telephone booth. Quickly she ran over. She closed the door and dug into her pockets. Her hammer was back at the hotel but Amy always wrote down the telephone number and room number of the hotel she and the Elric brothers stayed at. It was a habit really because she was afraid of getting lost in whatever town or city she ended up in.

Finding some loose change in her other pocket, Amy inserted in the machine and dialed the number. The phone rang twice before someone at the front desk picked it up. Amy told them the room number and it was paged through. It rang once and was halfway through its second ring when it was picked up.

"Amy?" a voice asked.

It was Al. He sounded worried, which made Amy feel even worse. Her throat began to tighten again and Amy gripped the phone.

"Yeah," Amy managed to speak without her tone giving her mood away.

"Amy, what happened we were so worried?" Al rattled on like an overly concerned mother, "You never disappear on us like that. We thought someone might have kidnapped you. Brother went out to look for you."

Now Amy felt really bad. It was as if every word Al said was stabbing her heart. She didn't mean to. She hadn't meant to hurt anyone. She had just needed…needed to get away. Traitor tears pricked at her eyes again and Amy felt her voice crack as she answered Al.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I didn't. I just…"

She half-expected Al to understand and stop her before the tears fell, but mind-reading powers were one thing Al did not possess.

"Al. It hurts," she finally broke down crying, "I'm (sob) sorry for causing (shuddery breath) all the trouble but I just (hiccup) I miss them (sob). I don't want to (hiccup) be trouble, but they are (sob) I am (hiccup) they're gone."

Amy began to sob uncontrollably. She didn't know why. She wasn't thinking straight. But she had needed to tell someone. To rely on someone. She trusted Al. She was friends with them even if it hurt her in the long run. She needed a shoulder to cry on.

"Amy where are you?" Al questioned, "We'll come get you. Were not going to leave you all alone. Brother is worried. I'm worried. I know it's painful to loose someone but we're here to help. We're your friends Amy."

When Amy was picked up a while later by a short midget in a red cloak and a suit of armor she didn't mind. Even when said midget began to yell at her for making them worry. The midget couldn't even hide his relief that she was well. The suit looked concerned but welcomed her back warmly and Amy gave them both a hug. She was hungry, sad, sore, and happy all at the same time, but her tears were gone. There would be other times when she had to cry, let out her feeling, but maybe the next time she would cry to her friends first. They were there for her. They wouldn't laugh or be mean to her. Better then anyone they understood her. Her tears with them were tears well spent.

da da da da da  
da da da da da da  
da da da da da  
da da da da


End file.
